When the sun sets and you want more.
There is no meaning behind a sunset if your life has no meaning. You haven't lived if you refuse imperfections, resisted temptations and confrontation.
(🥀 forgive my words, I am only a feeble immature, excuse of a human being)
We all like being happy, we like to ask others "What would you do if... [generic happy thing]".
Example)
- What if you had a million dollars or you could do anything in the world or you can make any of your dreams come true?
Then there are people who like being "emo" (as my friends so call it..) they like to think the world is against them.
When we humans focus on different aspects of things, we more so are likely to neglect other aspects of life. When you focus too much on work, you neglect your family; when you are too focus on getting your point across, you neglect the feelings of others. It seems humans are not great at "multi-tasking" (If such a thing even exists.), that's where other humans come.
Essentially, other humans you come across are people who bring knowledge and other life experiences to you without you having to take another life cycle to experience them (even if you could that would be unnecessarily exhausting lol). Other humans are important to our survival (Yes, this is quite obvious), yet there are people who focus on the aspect of complete "independence", neglecting their need for emotional/social support or "ultimacy in human beings" like such thing exists.
Haven't we learnt from "One Punch Man" already? When we lose meaning, we lose the person we come to known as ourselves. We start questioning our identity, our purpose and our worth. What's the point of being all powerful or reach the "peak" when you're not actively searching for meaning in that journey. What is the point of making yourself suffering meaninglessly (Unnecessarily) if you don't even know what you're doing.
Here's what I mean: Imagine putting your hand over an active stove top, over and over and over again. What's the point of doing that if there's no motivation or meaning or "real" purpose in doing that. You're making yourself suffer for no reason. You're not going to achieve anything doing that. Hey I might be speaking the fucking obvious over here but there are real people who don't fucking listen. What the fuck is the point of restraint without reason? Deluding yourself into thinking that burning yourself over stove top will change you for the better. Pain ≠ Growth. It's the same thing with restraint. Ask the people with eating disorders, see where unnecessary restraint and desire for control over their bodies got them.
If people can see through anorexia, why can't people see through "the need to be completely fucking unwavered emotionally by everything". Starving your mind of any "unhealthy" highs (Video games, social media, fucking friends?) for the sake of "feeling better about yourself" is completely unethical. Hey, it's more than okay to quit smoking or gambling. But it's more than NOT okay if you're NOT replacing your addiction (or your already few sources of happiness) with something else.
Maybe I'm over-exaggerating it or too focused on this shit. I just can't comprehend the idea of starving yourself for the sake of feeling better about yourself even if it's harming your mind and body. (Seriously? Are you going to self-harm if you feel "better"?).
Whatever. My point isn't valid because this is a case by case thing. And I have no rights to be talking as if this is going to kill someone when I don't know that person well enough.
But hey, it might as well have killed someone already, overachieving meaningless things like grades or how tough they need to prove themselves to be. Sometimes people seem to need to be reminded of the obvious. That's true to me too. It's surprising to know there are people who don't accept their own flaws, refuse to come to terms with them and harm themselves thinking these flaws will go away when they don't understand where they stem from..
Anyways, I like doing something such as- example: Drawing- not because I'm able to achieve the finished product. It's more than moving a pencil around and seeing an image you want form; It's seeing your imagination come alive. Expressing yourself through images without words that are too explicit (The human mind isn't straight forward and often carry lies and false ideations that stem from emotions and underlying problems, some experiences words don't make up enough). Happiness doesn't come from solved problems. This means the happiness that come from these activity rely on the process of solving problems, of making progress.
Now what's the point of solving problems that are tiny and minuscule compared to the bigger problems in comparison you generate when trying to solve those problems that don't affect you on the daily basis. And aren't necessary nor urgent to solve (The slight inconvenience to walk outside and buy food- OR- THE SLIGHT INCONVENIENCE OF NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH)
Huh, maybe I am pampered. Maybe I'm not empathic enough to understand others. I have no sympathy. I might as well be a sociopath. Hey, but I'm all good knowing I'm doing something that gives meaning to my life. Even if I'm burning myself with the stove top, I'll just delude myself with another meaning to it. To harm myself, to harm the others around me and to try to be "perfect", for the sake of feeling a little bit more worth to me!
Everything I say is so invalid because I have so little understanding of anything. I lack life experience, emotional maturity. There is no one to guide me on the emotional and psychological side of life. How to deal with someone whose values don't line up with you, how to deal with emotions that don't line up with your logical thinking. All these stuff we ought to learn on our own I guess.
It's better to learn from your mistakes than to avoid them. What if I jumped off the top of the bunk bed ladder and don't land on my feet? Seems a bit extreme. So many vague things and too many "definite" answers to abstract questions. Maybe my mindset is too weak, I can't seem to accept anything concrete and think too abstract and vague. Or I need to humiliate myself more by talking about the dumbest shit that lay on my mind, or things that are too vague for someone to understand because I myself don't understand. Everyone's a hypocrite anyways. Unless they use Reddit. Nobody's a hypocrite on Reddit.. (sarcasm)