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"Sand Grain"

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Once, there was a person who told me that us humans are like grains of sand in a dessert.

Once, there was a person who once said

To live with the mindset of eternal independence, would avoid the grief and loss, the suffering that comes with creating a bond with another human. Finally would lead one to a simpler and suffering-free life from grief, loss and betrayal generated by the reliance of other people.

When I read all that, I thought otherwise.

In my mind, humans live as stars sprinkled across like ones you'd see in the night sky. They're all so different, when you get to know them.

They appear small and insignificant from a far appearing as small dots, speckles of white dots across the night sky but upon closer look, when investing your time to find that star, their personality shines, all with different abilities and systems that made them the way they were. The way the solar system worked made them rely one another to create the miracle of a night sky we see today.

Humans are just copies of eachother, personalised and turned unique, all with their different systems. They can't be compared to grains of sand nor stars because honestly they're just them.

More yapping if you're interested.

Over and over and over and over. I promised I wouldn't keep on bottling the suicidal thoughts in my mind. So lonely, so lonely, so lonely- But-

What if- one day, my fate intertwined with yours?

Suicide.

One day. I said to myself, my fate. Be it by suicide or death by natural causes. My chances of suicide would intertwine faster than it would be by the chances of natural causes. Would it be? A chance of a different kind of death: Loneliness. One would be silly enough to assume such cause of mental death.

When the days passed by and the isolation from my peers grew. To accept one's flaws is to accept one's identity and therefore a positive experience. When one feels cannot solve their own problems, it leads to deppression and helplessness. So I did what anyone in my situation did and attempt to solve my problems.

This would come with great and not very good consequence to those around me and myself.

But. Why?

A question I often ask myself is not what but "why". Why does this have to be this way, why do I exist, why is this happening to me?

But not:

Why do I care?

Why does anyone have to care?

We're all going to die and I just want to have fun.

Purpose.

There could only be one and each unique to each and everyone of us. One's purpose could be to try out every food chain and give a review. One's purpose could be to adopt every stray cat they could find- But, it's always more. Everybody is always searching for more but most don't realise right in front of them, they've been doing something that ultimately makes for who they are. Those little quirks, those little habits. The things that make them happy, the things that make them who they've come to be. Incase you couldn't guess what is it: It's living.

Humans

The thing I like most about a human. I won't tell you my favourite but what I can tell you is, I like a person for, actually I'm not really sure, but it's not really about how their actions impact me but how they interact with me and others.

Every little thing they do.

Every little quirk that makes you and I me.

We all have something it common.

So therefore! I present to you- My pros and cons list of you!!!!!!!!

Here are your pros!:

Then here's your cons!:

Tldr;

But ultimately, just everything else in this world, the things that make us happy will always be the things that make us sad. By solving a problem, we generate other problems.

The motivation to suffer is to enjoy the suffering.

#dedicated